Variation

Hudson rents a tuxedo, even though he has not heard from Allie at all since she invited him. He remembers the chemistry in their kiss and is convinced that she is hiding her feelings because she is afraid.

He is also thinking about the Coast Guard tests he took. If he passes, he will get a new location for work. He had put Cape Cod down as his first choice, but now he is considering whether it would be possible to go to New York to have a real life with Allie.

Hudson gets a call from Gavin, who needs him to pick up June. He asks Hudson not to be mad because he secretly signed June up for ballet classes. Hudson goes to the ballet studio and sees Allie in the crowd. He approaches her and asks if she knew about June’s ballet lessons. She admits that she saw June’s equipment when she went to Gavin’s car on their beach day.

While they wait for class to end, Hudson asks Allie about New York. He offers to drive with her and stay the weekend, and Allie admits that she wants him to. However, when he asks her about the kiss, she insists that she does not want to talk about it and that it won’t happen again.

Hudson is horrified at the way that the teacher is acting during the ballet lesson. She yells at the children and even throws her water bottle. Allie comments that it reminds her of her mother’s lessons, then tells Hudson to let her handle things, since ballet is her “world.”

After class, June can tell that Hudson and Allie are mad at her. She tries to make excuses, but Allie tells her to go to Allie’s home studio later, and then leaves.

When Allie gets home, she calms herself down. She is angry at Quinn—June’s teacher—for the way she taught her class but also mad at June for going behind everyone’s back.

When June gets there, Allie confronts her about choosing to go to Quinn’s studio. June admits that she wants to compete in the Classic this year, and Quinn’s was the easiest studio to get into, even if she had bad reviews. Allie confirms that her teaching techniques are bad, noting the parallels between Quinn’s anger and bullying and what Sophie used to do. 

More importantly, though, Quinn has no regard for June’s development or technique. She already has her in ballet shoes, which is going to lead to an injury. June initially protests, but after Allie walks her through a few positions and points out everything she is doing wrong, June admits that she isn’t ready.

June and Allie then discuss the Classic. Quinn has already signed her up for it, and June is desperate to compete. Allie admits that she has remarkable natural ballet skill but also believes that June needs to respect her body and learn proper technique. She agrees to try to find a way to help June compete.

Allie tells Hudson that she has decided to train June personally. They both acknowledge that they feel bad for going behind Caroline’s back, but they also agree with June’s assessment that her success in ballet could help convince Caroline to let her continue.

Hudson arrives at the gala in New York separately from Allie, who is talking with Vasily Koslov, the Company’s artistic director. He is planning to show Equinox in the fall with Allie in the lead role. Hudson then meets Isaac, who wrote Equinox with Allie. Hudson knows that Allie and Isaac had a relationship. Isaac’s pretentious behavior bothers Hudson, and he jokes with Allie about it. Allie insists that she never had a real relationship with anyone, leaving Hudson to wonder whether it was because she was in love with him.

Hudson is introduced to a group of Allie’s fellow dancers, who praise her and ask when she will be back. However, the entire time Hudson thinks of how fake everyone acts. He wonders if any of them truly care about her—or if Allie even cares about them.

He instantly likes Kenna, however, who comments to him that it is “overwhelming […] not knowing who’s genuine and who’s not” (220). She tells him that she knows about Hudson and Allie’s fake relationship and their kiss in the shower. She insists that he needs to make his “real move” and start a genuine relationship with her.

Allie then introduces Hudson to Eva, who warns Allie that another dancer, Charlotte, took over Allie’s locker. Charlotte is a soloist, one level below Allie, but would be promoted if Allie dropped out. Hudson recognizes Charlotte from her photo online. She comes over and talks with Allie, making backhanded remarks about how she has been practicing Equinox with Isaac in case Allie doesn’t return. 

Allie and Hudson sit down for dinner, and Hudson comments that he is beginning to understand why Allie has built “walls” around herself, to protect her from the “viper’s nest” of the Company (225). After the opening speeches and a performance from the Company’s school, Allie insists that she wants to leave.

Allie takes Hudson back to her apartment. She is still upset about the gala, where everyone seemed like they were hoping to see her fail and not return to the Company. She tries to send Hudson to the guest bedroom, but he insists that she talk with him.

Allie tells Hudson how much it bothers her that Charlotte has been working with Isaac. Although the Company has always been this way, it feels like they are all turning on her even more than usual. Additionally, she feels like she is letting down her mother, who will simply “replace” her with Eva.

Allie then asks Hudson if she can have “five minutes” where he “pretends” that he wants to have sex with her (230). Hudson insists that he always wants that, but he would prefer it at a time when she wasn’t trying to get rid of her anger. However, Allie starts undressing. She tells Hudson that she is only offering this for these five minutes. 

The two kiss passionately against the counter in the kitchen, and Allie realizes how physically attracted she is to him. Hudson uses his hand and then his mouth to make her orgasm, but when she reaches for his belt, they hear the door open. Eva comes into the kitchen and makes a joke about them being quiet and sanitizing the kitchen when they’re done, then goes into her room.

Mortified, Allie apologizes, but Hudson insists it’s not a big deal. She feels ashamed that she “used” him to deal with her anger. She tries to apologize, but Hudson assures her that he wants her to be happy and will gladly be “used” by her. He jokes with her about all the future orgasms she will have with him, then goes down the hall to the guest room.

After Hudson is gone, Allie still feels guilty but also like she is becoming too vulnerable by telling him about her life at the Company and getting physical with him. She vows not to let him into her life so that he can hurt her like he did 10 years ago.